


You're Family Now, Mate

by sassafrasx



Series: Kingsman Christmas Verse [2]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Christmas Presents, Eggsy's Family Adopts Merlin, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Harry Hart Should Not Be Allowed to Buy Presents, Kid Fic, M/M, Merlin & Daisy Bonding, Merlin Learns Too Much About Eggsy & Harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-15 00:06:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9211169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassafrasx/pseuds/sassafrasx
Summary: Merlin turned around in his chair and immediately prayed for patience, which was rather pointless all things considered, but he couldn’t be blamed for trying. He knew he was going to need it.“Why is your sister here, Eggsy, in my office, when you’re supposed to be on a jet in ten minutes?”Or: How Merlin became Uncle Merlin — and Daisy ended up with so many bloody presents.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [All_InProcess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_InProcess/gifts).



> I hope you had a wonderful holiday, All_InProcess! I started this forever ago, but I keep getting sick and falling behind in all my plans. I hope you enjoy it anyway! <333 This completely unintentionally ended up in the same universe as another fic I posted recently; I hope you don't mind. But it can definitely be read on its own! :D

Merlin turned around in his chair and immediately prayed for patience, which was rather pointless all things considered, but he couldn’t be blamed for trying. He knew he was going to need it.

“Why is your sister here, Eggsy, in my office, when you’re supposed to be on a jet in ten minutes?”

Eggsy just beamed at him a bit manically, hands on Daisy’s shoulders and a giant satchel that appeared to be bulging with toys and other child paraphernalia at his side. “Mum’s out of town and the sitter has the flu. I tried taking her to some of the other departments, but you know how they all are: the techs will probably explode her accidentally, the handlers can’t stop cursing, Michael down in the kennels treated her like she was an actual dog, and there’s too many weapons everywhere else. You’re my only hope,” he said with what was probably intended as a charming grin, but mostly came off just on the wrong side of unhinged.

“Absolutely not.”

“ _Merlin_.”

“No, you can’t simply leave her here. My office is hardly suitable for a child. And what about Harry?”

“He’s in Madrid, you know that. And from where I’m standing, mate, your office is the most suitable place I’m going to find between now and me making it onto that jet in ten minutes.”

Fucking buggering little _shit_ , Merlin internally cursed and continued through every word he could think of and then back again, with feeling, since he couldn’t say any of it aloud. He stared down at Daisy, who merely looked back at him placidly, sucking on a juice box at the eye of the storm like she had no idea how much trouble she was causing. She probably didn’t.

Merlin took his glasses off and rubbed at his eyes and continued cursing. A child, in HQ, what could possibly go wrong. “ _Fine_.”

Eggsy whooped and flung his bag at Merlin’s feet. “ _Thank you_ , you’ll be fine. Daisy here won’t be any problem, will you, babe? We had a big, long discussion about it on the way here, didn’t we?”

“I get five ice creams,” she said reverently and held out her hand as if to show him exactly how many.

“All her stuff is in there, lots of crayons and DVDs and some snacks and everything. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Merlin looked back down at her and thought, _I’ll be the judge of that_.

*

“Whatcha doing?”

_Reviewing the latest from R &D about a new chemical compound they’ve come up with that can paralyse a target on a delayed release up to five hours afterwards. Possible side effects: rapidly disintegrating stomach lining and bloody vomit. Death._

“Science,” he finally said, as if that was any sort of explanation.

Daisy paused her colouring to give that very serious consideration, apparently, and then nodded.

“Eggsy got me a book about space. I’m gonna be an astronaut when I grow up.”

Merlin realised he was smiling despite himself, but she sounded so bloody sure of herself, and he’d always had a weakness for space as child, decorated his room with planets and stars. “Is that so? I could show you a few things on my computer if you’d like. Scientists have to stick together, after all.”

She grinned up at him, so much like her brother, big and wide and with her whole face, and then she ran over eagerly and climbed right into his lap. Merlin coughed and had no idea what he was supposed to do with his hands now or how one could even maneuver with a child crawling all over them, but it was alright he supposed. For the love of science and all that he could deal with a squirming child and put aside the reports for a little while.

*

“Merlin? Are you here, you didn’t respond to my knock—” Alistair abruptly cut himself off and stopped in the doorway, opening and closing his mouth, a deep furrow in his brow, and then finally seemed to give up. “Should we reschedule my debriefing for tomorrow?”

Merlin glanced down at where he was currently sat cross-legged in the middle of Daisy’s blanket surrounded by piles of drawings and graphed out plans and a motherboard and a random assortment of spare parts.

Daisy gave Alistair one of her toothy grins. “Merlin’s showing me how to build a robot! I’ve always wanted a robot,” she said, bouncing excitedly in her spot next to him.

Alistair appeared to grow only more flummoxed at this. “I see.”

“Yes, I think tomorrow morning would be best. First thing, if you would, Percival. Go get some rest, I know you’re still on Australian time,” Merlin eventually settled on, as if there were nothing abnormal about this situation at all.

He’d had a great new idea for a robot after all, so he’d best try it out.

*

They had slices of chocolate cake as large as Daisy’s face in the dining hall and Daisy looked up at him with wide eyes. Eggsy had packed carrot sticks and nuts and a whole wheat sandwich cut into cute little shapes. (Merlin made a mental note to question Eggsy about his mother hen tendencies.)

“Don’t tell your brother.”

*

_What's this I hear about you not getting any work done today?_

_Child caring is time consuming. What if she falls and dies? And you're one to talk about work, aren't you in a meeting, ARTHUR._

_The great Merlin is skiving off at work for the first time ever, this is an emergency situation. I've received messages from no less than 5 different people._

Merlin didn't deign that with a response. Kingsman gossips were bloody hyenas and he refused to acknowledge them.

*

Daisy blinked up at him with sleepy eyes and yawned in that way kids always did when they were valiantly determined not to fall asleep. They’d run into a few hiccups with the robot and it was now pushed to the side of the blanket, for the moment at least — Daisy was very insistent that they would finish it some other time. Merlin had mostly succeeded in not laughing at the way she had mulishly set her jaw, like a mini version of her brother when he was feeling belligerent and stubborn.

“Tell me a story.”

“I don’t know any stories.” That were appropriate for children anyway. George had infiltrated a black market dealer’s private zoo the previous day and been chased by an ostrich and zebra for over an hour before he’d been able to find tranquiliser darts strong enough to knock them out, but somehow he doubted Eggsy would appreciate him sharing with his baby sister how many times George had been bit in the arse while all the handlers gathered round and cried tears of laughter.

Daisy listed into his side and murmured, “Yes, you do. Everyone knows stories. Tell me about the princess who saves the world.”

Merlin carefully placed his hand on her hair and made soothing noises until she shuffled about, half-asleep and sprawled with her head on his leg as a pillow.

“Well, alright. I can try.”

*

“Had no idea you was so good with kids, Merlin,” Eggsy said, propped up against the doorway to Merlin's office with his arms crossed over his chest. He sounded bemused and also very, very smug; Merlin groaned.

“I'm not. I haven't spent any time around children since I was a wee lad myself.”

Eggsy snorted. “Coulda fooled me, guv. Daisy won't stop talking about you — _we did this, and then he showed me that!_ ” Eggsy said in a high-pitched, rather horrifying impression of his sister. “She even drew you this and insisted that you have to come out with us for her ice creams or she won't accept them,” Eggsy continued, whipping out a piece of paper.

Merlin blinked down at it, two stick figures holding hands under a giant sun and some vague green scribbles with what was possibly a robotic dog at their feet, and along the bottom in large, lopsided letters of various sizes: _Uncle Merlin_.

“Uncle?”

“Yeah, she's decided you're her uncle now, so ice cream isn't optional. Harry was most put out until I told him she's basically convinced he's her daddy, much to my mum’s despair.” Eggsy paused, made a face. “Her calling him daddy makes last night a hell of a lot weirder now that I think about it. Bit awkward if we both—”

“ _Stop right there_ ,” Merlin said. “I don't want to know. _I really don't_.” That was already far more information about their extracurriculars than Merlin ever wanted to know.

Eggsy shook his head as if to clear the disturbing thoughts from it — and really Merlin was the aggrieved party here, he was never going to be able to unthink this part of the conversation.

“Well, ice cream. This Saturday, no excuses unless something is actually on fire. And Daisy says to remember to bring those books you mentioned: she's been studying up on her planets more and she has things she wants to show you,” Eggsy said before jogging back out, late for his meeting, again, not that it mattered all that much when Harry was guaranteed to be even later.

Merlin took the sheet and carefully pinned it up on the side of his desk.

(And if it gained many friends in the future, after ice cream and trips to the zoo and wherever else they managed to drag him, then no one ever spoke of it upon pain of death.)

*

_So how does it feel to be a daddy?_

There was a long, pregnant pause, despite the fact that Merlin could clearly see Harry had received the message on his glasses feed and Harry knew it.

_Have you been hacking into the video files on my server again?_

_NOT TO EGGSY, Christ's sake._

Another, longer pause. Merlin could practically hear Harry clearing his throat.

_Oh._

Another minute later: _Well how does it feel to be an uncle?_

_No fucking clue how to be an uncle._

_Me neither. But, honestly, what could go wrong? We're intelligent, capable men._

*

Months later Merlin definitively had an answer to what could go wrong: Harry, allowed to buy Christmas presents for a young child.

“You’ve picked out a million piece Lego spaceport, what would you know. No one actually likes those fucking things.” Harry scoffed like a prissy cat and Merlin’s eyes nearly rolled out of his head.

“I loved Legos as a child, thank you very much. And Daisy wants to be an astronaut. Butterfly collecting?! Are you trying to raise her to be a serial killer?”

“I _loved_ butterfly collecting as a child and look how I’ve turned out!”

Merlin looked him up and down. “Really, the point stands for itself. You kill people for a living.”

“Among many other highly important tasks, thank you, and you’re one to talk.”

They stared at each other over the wreckage of Harry’s living room, Christmas presents mounded on every surface, at an impasse. Harry narrowed his eyes. “We’ll just have to see what Eggsy says when he gets back.”

Merlin gave him a look of pure and utter exasperation. Michelle was going to kiss his feet in thanks for supplying actual appropriate presents. Daisy deserved the best after all.

*

Watching Daisy run around with a replica dagger and a costume space suit after declaring that she was the newest knight of the galaxy, Merlin came to a reluctant truce with Harry over the matter of presents.

Daisy didn’t seem to care in the slightest; she was equally as gleeful for Merlin's gifts as the ones from Harry that made Michelle’s face go from concerned to mildly horrified.

Eggsy kept rolling his eyes at them as they each took turns showing off the presents they'd chosen. Spoilsport. But he seemed happy. They all did. It was… weird.

Once Michelle set about lunch and Harry and Daisy were conspiring over something in the corner of the living room — god help them all — Eggsy came up and bumped his shoulder and gave him one of those stupid enormous grins. What was it about their genes that allowed their whole faces to light up like that, Merlin wondered, bemused.

“I'm happy you could come, you know. Daisy too. Even Harry although he won't say anything.”

Harry looked over his shoulder and kind of smirked at them, like he knew they were talking about him — or maybe like he'd rigged up some sort of plan with Daisy that was guaranteed to make Merlin groan.

Merlin considered the drink in his hand and thought about all the times he and Harry had stayed to work through Christmas, maybe a few nightcaps and a quiet meal spent taking the piss out of each other if they were lucky. Merlin talking Harry through near hypothermia on the Mongolian steppe when they weren't.

This was nice. Weird, but nice. He'd nearly forgotten.

“Happy to be here,” he said, simply, and Eggsy's smile mellowed into something warm and understanding.

“Yeah, well, that's good, ‘cause you’re going to have to come to every Christmas and event from now on. You're family now, mate.”


End file.
